My Adult Observation

Elizabeth looked across the breakfast table at her husband of nearly thirty years. They had a good life together, had raised two children and lived in a lovely gated community. John was a successful partner at his law firm and Elizabeth had always been “the good wife” – hosting dinner parties, coordinating events and serving on a number of volunteer committees. Quite a successful lifestyle for a couple that had met by chance on a blind date in high school.

Lately, though, something had changed. John had become rather sullen and short-tempered with his wife. It seemed that nothing Elizabeth did was good enough for him anymore. After several months of being treated poorly, she actually started to wonder if John was having an affair. There was certainly no shortage of adorable young ladies at his office – and, truth be told, their sex life was virtually non-existent. Elizabeth couldn’t understand why. She had always been open-minded, or so she thought, when it came to sex. John had never complained and seemed very satisfied. Then, the tables started to turn.

First, John had brought her a gift from one of his business trips. It was lingerie – but not the pretty style he normally chose. The items were overtly sexual. Elizabeth had been shocked, at first, and this angered John. He accused her of being a prude and had slammed the door to his den, where he remained for the rest of that evening. Over dinner a few nights later, after a cooling off period, John brought up a new associate at his firm. Laughingly, John mentioned that the fellow and his stunning wife were part of the swinging lifestyle. Elizabeth had giggled a little until she looked up to find John staring at her directly. She clearly got the sense that he was gauging her reaction. “Why would he discuss swinging at the office?” she had asked, trying to think of a question that would disguise her discomfort. “Well not everyone is as old-fashioned as YOU,” he had accused, picking up his wine glass and storming off, again, into the den.

Elizabeth, with tears filling her eyes, was now getting a very clear picture of their problem. John no longer found her sexually attractive and he was obviously looking for a change. He was definitely attracted to the idea of swinging and she didn’t know how to accept that. She didn’t think swinging was something she could even condone. She was a very private person and the idea of it made her skin crawl. She was always ready to please John in whatever ways she could but this was a chasm she didn’t know how to cross. As she took a sip of wine to quell her nerves, she caught a glimpse of their formal portrait hanging above the sideboard. That one photograph was a visual representation of what they had achieved together in their thirty years. Elizabeth wondered now if it was all about to come crashing down around them.